Sitting alone..

As I sit in the garage, drinking a beer, all alone I realize I enjoy being alone. The quiet is wonderful, no screaming kids, no coworkers, just me and Blackjack and he does not talk. I wish one day a week I could spend alone and not hear one human voice. Don't get me wrong I love my kids, husband, and most people but miss the quiet time to think.....I would also like to go to the restroom solo. It's 9:47pm and everybody is asleep, including my husband, I'm loving it!

Self Diagnosis

     I have convinced myself I am not normal. This is just two of the reasons on my list. I don’t like to read Obituaries any longer… either there is someone I know or someone my age. I spend time looking online trying to find out how they passed. Is this normal? Doubt it. I also use the internet to self diagnosis myself all the time. That freckle on my foot is melanoma, the aspartame in Diet Coke is giving me Lupus, I also have  ultraviolet dermatitis because of the Lupus, and I must have appendicitis because my right side has been hurting.  WHO does this?? Would I still be this way without the convenience  of the internet? Would I spend long hours in the library researching my ailments? I am not paranoid or scared of getting sick. I am scared of my kids being raised without a mother, the doctors missing the clues, and my little tummy ache turning out to be hyperplastic hypersecretory gastropathy. I have been very healthy, my entire life, so the fact that I’m obsessed with diagnosing myself makes absolutely no sense.